What does it mean to parent by magic?
And how does the word magic ~ which implies a certain effortlessness and ease ~ end up next to the word parenting anyway?
I can feel your eyebrow lifting. I understand.
The word conjures up images of
and slight of hand.
When we all know: the daily parenting grind is one of the toughest gigs out there.
A faint and nebulous fairy hope is not what we need.
Children are relentless! All-consuming! They require more from us than we even have to give.
They beat us down with their subtle ways and — I’ll speak for myself — inspire us to smash dishes.
They’ve left me sprawled on the hallway floor in shock and desperation, unable to quite believe just how un-livable a moment can be.
I don’t care how many cheat sheets, parenting hacks, 7 keys or 3 steps you click on, there simply is no manual out there that can take you into the very heart of the parenthood mystery.
Which is exactly why we need a special kind of help.
We need more than advice. We need ‘how-to’ answers that are deeply connected to some powerful ‘why’ answers.
And we need the grace to pull it off.
I want to introduce you to my friend, the Magic.
She is all these things ~ the how, the why, the active swoop of grace — and much, much more.
But before we dive into her world, let me be entirely tangible about it.
The main reason I use the word Magic is: because it’s the word that best describes the results in our family.
We began to see it about 6 years ago when my magic methods were just crystallizing, and it’s only grown more and more undeniable in our 3 kids with time.
One cannot help but suspect some kind of sorcery when one sees:
cooperation that is unsolicited,
patience that borders on supernatural,
restraint, resilience, contentment,
gentleness and courtesy ~
results that cause strangers to comment and stare.
What we’ve witnessed are long-lasting results that arise and recur with perennial power; results that emanate from within our children.
It’s pretty fantastical.
But even beyond all this fabulous fruit, what I love is the process itself.
I love the daily enactment of magic in our lives because it is so rich with meaning and reward.
Parenting by magic pretty much guarantees a level of Mary Poppins enjoyment along the way.
Relationships become joy-filled, discipline becomes light, and tedious toil is delightfully sweeter with swigs of magic in your medicine.
Then there’s the thrill of success and competence ~ good pride ~ and the satisfaction that comes from a job well done.
The intrinsic delight of ‘having the magic’ is as gratifying as having great kids!
But most important of all, it is the Magic that serves as the portal, the bridge, the rabbit hole ~ the point of entry into our children’s deeper hearts.
entering your child’s world,
knowing their native land,
speaking their mother-tongue,
and accessing your own intimate child-like self again…
Just a few of the life-changing perks to be expected when working with magic.
There is so much to say about my dear friend the Magic…
I haven’t even begun to give her a proper introduction yet!
To truly know her ~
(as with all things Holy and Other)
we will need to embrace
a very different approach.
What is the Magic?
There is a way into these enchanted woods,
you are willing to suspend judgement a while
and enter in with tender bare feet.
I want to invite you on a magnificent journey.
It will not be along a well-travelled path,
and it is not for everyone.
It’s for those
More of everything I’ve mentioned so far and much, much more than that.
I am passionate over parents —
I believe that, like kids,
adults deserve to experience the total transformation
that comes from freshly spun magic.
And just how does a child so completely
a maiden, a warrior, a cheshire cat?
A simple transaction occurs…
where wide open mind meets pure and potent metaphor.
Metaphor/symbol/imagery….the true language of the Magic.
speak directly to the soul.
Living images expand
and nourish our capacity
to become something else.
That is why storytelling is at the heart of all that I do
as a writer, teacher, and mother.
If I could give anything to my children and my students
a picture to live into.
A beautiful, worthy, compelling, enchanting and true
of life at its most magical, most meaningful.
A picture to try on for size…
and maybe even choose to dwell/abide/remain within.
Such is the Magic.